Lately I was hearing a lot of complains in a very husky soft voice from my pre-teen girl. I know that with body changes she is going through, she is more emotional than she would like herself to be… she needs my support and encouragement. At her age things are moving really fast. New school, now middle school is very different from elementary. Teachers are more strict and work starts to bug all students alike. I started to feel that my little girl is growing fast and some times she looks a bit edgy, nervous and anxious. I do understand that she is growing up fast both physically and mentally trying to understand the world around her.She wants me to understand her more ever.
keep channels open: The channel of communication should be flowing and open all the time irrespective of situation. Girls are sensitive in teen years. They need that constant reminder from us that we are always there to help and hear what they have to say. The greatest responsibility of parents today is to keep things flowing.This is most difficult path of all. I encourage my girl to express her feelings especially when I hear, “It’s not fair” phrase from them. This is a hint for me that her feelings are hurt and she may not have understood the big why here.
I do say NO for things that I don’t approve of.BUT Very rarely I would say,” because I said so or I am your mom or whose the mom ? “. Honestly this would act like a face concealer; this tells her not to ask questions for now and later becomes whats the point of. It would conceal her scars, (which I could have helped healing;)If only I knew it extists in my child’s life. When I encourage her to speak I carefully and patiently listen to everything she has to say. This is the greatest opportunity for us as parents because most of the time your child will also tell you the thing and feelings she has been hiding from you,other than current incidents. This is the time to become like a spoonge and absorb your child’s deepest misunderstandings and keep clearing them.
These years are precious as soon my little birdie would fly from the nest. And I want to hold in my heart, each and every possible minute I get to spend with her…. These years are going to be connecting bridges in later life. Be more patient, more loving moms !!